Tipsy Confessions
by i Mel-chan i
Summary: Rangiku knew that her taichou's well hidden secret.


**Title**: Tipsy Confessions  
**Characters**: Hitsugaya, Masumoto  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Warnings**: alcohol, language  
**Disclaimer**: Don't own nothing!

**A/N:** Timeline takes place right after Ch. 238. Slight OOC though its only because they're drunk. Written using Rangiku's POV. Of course reviews are loved!

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Among the captains, Hitsugaya-taichou stood out for his composure.

Collected and bold, he never feared the truth rather he openly searched for it, in spite of the ugliness that might arise from it. His prudent decisions, his inability to yield to pressure, his keen mind to analysis every possible outcome, astounded many. He was a genius in every respect and a pride to the Gotei-13, though it had not been so in the beginning. The 46 Chambers refused his rise to captaincy, downgraded his skills, openly stating that a child could never lead an adult.

It was almost a year later when the statement was repented.

Strange hollow activity occurred to the south of Rukongai. Radars would blaze one minute of a powerful creature before instantly silencing. The incident was brushed off until the first shingami was killed and the Gotei-13 were forced to intervene. A squad of twenty was deployed and only one returned, dying a few minutes later. Immediately another squad was sent out, but the creature was gone- leaving only the bloody remains of the shinigami and little holes onto the earth. Casualties continued to run high, yet no clear picture could be made on the whereabouts or even the descriptions of these hollows. They were too fast- it was decided- too fast that the radar had trouble detecting them as they slipped between dimensions.

But then he stepped in explaining that he knew the exact location of these hollows that this was the work of not two hollows but one, and that this hollow was stupid and slow, not fast and witty as everyone had assumed. Yamamoto scoffed, "Hitsugaya-kun, how would you explain this creature's bypasses detection if it cannot go through dimensions?"

"With all due respects soutaichou, shinigami are not the only victims of this hollow- countless souls have been devoured as well. If you include this data, then this hollow has been feeding every ten minutes or so. Now if this hollow were intelligent then it wouldn't push its luck anymore, but it probably believes that we'll never find it. But I have." He looked at his audience. "Radars detect as a hollow moves between dimensions, when it arrives on land, even if it flies to the skies, but it does not detect what is underground."

He was claimed a prodigy not a child.

He became that confident captain that thought logically and held his responsibilities, yet- yet hidden behind his formal speeches and orders- he probably had the most insecurities. He's never told anyone, but Rangiku knew- she could see how he hesitated for a split of a second before giving out an order, how he paused to think much longer before answering a question, how he continuously worked himself- Rangiku suspected of this internal struggle long ago when they first met in that dusty store years ago and he was nothing but a boy with leaking reitsu.

She saw his true self long ago, but she never brought it up and it just became one of the unspoken secrets between them.

After their return to Soul Society, the division was in complete shambles- somehow it was assumed that since their captain had taken a vacation they should as well. Taichou spent a good two hours lecturing his men that just because he was gone didn't give the excuse to slack off. "If anything you should be working harder!" he yelled, his arms crossed in front of his chest as he paced.

The shinigami bowed their head in apology and quickly moved along to get their work done. But these were not the only problems that faced him when he arrived, taichou had taken on the responsibilities of the Fifth Division and they were in an even worse state considering that both their taichou and fukutaichou had practically disappeared overnight. Again taichou spent another two hours lecturing them and yelling out angry orders.

After wards the two divisions were set to work, definitely much harder for the time missed.

Taichou snapped constantly for so much as a kanji out of place, added another three hours of training, held meeting with his seated officers every six hours and was in short grouchier than usual. Rangiku found herself more at her desk working on the detested paperwork that she always managed to stay away from. She was constantly racing down the halls, supervising something or getting something handed in, so much so that she had to tell Shunsui that she couldn't go drinking with him. He seemed slightly disappointed but she laughed out loud telling them they'd make up for it.

In just under a week both divisions were back on track. Yamamoto had seen this and had congratulated taichou on his hard work but he merely shook away the praise. Rangiku, walking a foot behind him, added that he really did do a good job and he shouldn't be so modest ever now and then. He didn't answer but surprised her by turned around that instant. "You know, you can take the evening off if you want."

Rangiku blinked because really it was just too good to be true without resorting to blackmail, bribery, or any acting. "Really?"

"Yes," he groaned. "Hurry up and go before I regret my decision."

She hugged him tightly, picking him up in a swift motion and swinging him.

"Masumoto, let go!" he yelled out and when she set him on the floor he was as red as a cherry. She waved good bye, quickly rushing out before taichou really did change his mind. He yelled out, reminding her to arrive bright and early tomorrow before moving along. Rangiku skipped as she went down the familiar path to the Eighth Division headquarters. She passed well known corridors and stopped to greet certain people- she knew the place by heart- until she threw open Shunsui office doors happily yelling out that today was a day for celebration.

But her face fell slightly as she saw Nanao-chan standing beside Shunsui . "Hello Masumoto-san," she greeted ignoring her interruption. Shunsui leaped from his desk before Nanao-chan pushed him back down. "I'm afraid Kyoraku-taichou is busy at the moment and won't be able to join you in you're celebrations."

Rangiku nervously laughed and apologized- she did not want to make Nanao-chan angry- telling Shuunei that perhaps another time. Shuhei was busy writing an article for the morning paper and Kira was busy running the division. All in all this did not make well for an evening off. Drinking was boring unless it was with company and as she wandered down one of her favorite restaurants, she suddenly got an idea.

Taichou looked up at her- a puzzled look on his face. "I gave you the evening off and you come back to work." There were folders on his desk, of which one was opened that contained particularly long legal documents with important terminology and things that would generally make her fall asleep. His favorite cup was to the side but it was empty except for the tea leaves on the bottom.

"I was thinking," she answered going to her desk and pulling out a set of keys. "Taichou's been really stressed lately-"

"I am not stressed out," he said rubbing his temple.

"'Course you are, taichou. You always touch your head when you're stressed out and lately that's all you've been doing." He caught himself and put his hand down. Rangiku turned around, a big smile on her face as she held out three bottles of sake. "You keep liquor in your desk?"

"Of course taichou," she answered as though it was such an obvious answer, and went along humming to herself as she neatly set two tiny saucers on the coffee table. She sat back on the couch patting it with her hand for him to come. "Sake helps you deal with stress and don't make any excuses about boring paperwork," she scowled. "We're already caught up and those aren't due until next week."

He eyed her before sighing in defeat and accepting the saucer she handed to him. "All right just one sip."

Three bottles later, Rangiku was in a furious fight for the fourth bottle. Heaving the bottle toward her, she started kicking and biting off taichou's fingers. Taichou pulled harder, kicking and grunting himself when he suddenly pointed at the other direction. Rangiku looked and before she knew it he snatched it from her hands and he laughed out loud in trump. "Taichou," she pouted."You have to share!"

"No," he said childishly, hogging the fourth bottle and laughing at her naivety. "Get your own Ran-ran!"

She'd become Ran-ran after the second bottle and taichou had become a kid, which was rather ironic because he was a kid to begin with.

"That's not fair taichou!" He stuck his tongue at her, blowing a wet raspberry and taking another swing of the bottle, clicking his tongue a bit at the aftertaste.

"Ran-ran listen- listen," he urged sitting down on her lap and facing her. The office was a complete mess- desks overturn, paper littering the floor, ink marks stained the floor and walls, and what was a poor imitation of a fort (don't ask)- so much so that her sober taichou would no doubt inflict some horrible punishment on her for letting this happen.

But that didn't matter to Rangiku, for now that is, because watching him act like this made her see a different side to him. His cheeks were slightly pink, his teal eyes hazy and he laughed so much easily now. "You're very pretty, have I ever told you that?"

"Uh no?" Half the time he was busy yelling at her to get the paperwork turned in.

"Well you are!" he said excitedly and kissing her cheek. "And you're one of my faaavooritest people in the whole wide world! You know what let's ditch work tomorrow and go to the zoo!"

Rangiku blinked thinking that he really must be drunk if he was going to skip work. He continued telling stories of old pranks he used to pulled on Hinamori, back in Roukongai- submerging her hand in warm water, while she slept? That was so mean!- when he took another swing of the stolen bottle of sake. "Ran-ran?"

"Yes taichou?" she answered.

He took another swing and set his head onto her shoulder, closing his eyes. And his voice- his voice suddenly seemed sadder like a child telling his mother how he was picked at school.

"You know how I always seemed to have a stick up my ass; it's all an act I just put up. The truth is- the truth is that I'm scared."

They say alcohol helps you say things you normally wouldn't have. It reduces all that tension and resolution locked within every person until the dark secrets come pouring out. Rangiku knew this all too well. "What are you scared of?" she asked stroking his head.

"I'm scared," he continued. "I'm so scared that I'll screw up... Do you remember what the 46 chambers said? 'A child cannot lead a division.'"

Yes, she remembered. She remembered how the 46 chambers had laughed and taichou had just stood there taking in all their mockery. She remembers how he had to complete two exams- not because he had failed but because he had perfected the first and it was ruled that the captaincy exams might be outdated. And then she remembers that after he had slain that underground hollow that nobody seemed to detect, people would still criticized every single thing he did, would call the Gotei-13 incompetent.

"I told myself…" he continued. "That I was gonna prove them all wrong. I was gonna lead the best division... that I wasn't just some stupid kid fantasizing things. I knew what I signed up for. I knew I wanted to become a captain not because of the fame or the money, but because there are people who don't have a voice. The higher ups are too busy thinking of how much more power they can get- they don't care about the people of Rukongai or Soul Society or anyone. I wanted things to change and I thought that maybe I could change them.

"So I created this wall around me, this fuckin' wall that I'm always hiding behind. I act like I'm brave, like some cold insensitive bastard because I want to prove them... that I'm not a kid. But I-I think they were right. No matter how much I try to deny it… I'm still a child."

He stood up, turning his back to her breaking that unspoken secret between them.

"I can't do anything. I try and I try and I always end up failing, and then someone has to step in and hide my mistakes. I couldn't save Hinamori. I couldn't stop Aizen. I couldn't fight those Arrancars. I couldn't save Inoue and she was under my care. What the hell was I thinking!" he snapped slamming the glass bottle onto the wall and shattering it to millions of pieces and his back shook with all the pain that suddenly flooded him.

"Toushirou," Rangiku whispered wrapping her arms around his frame. "Every mission, ever battle, ever obstacles we've ever had, I've always believed in you. I might not understand why you give some orders, but I follow them because I believe in you. And when things get bad, I know they'll turn out alright in the end because you're here.

"You'll do what you always do: think your way through and uncover the truth just like you always do. And when you make mistakes- that's all right because mistakes are experiences that you learn from. Who cares what people say? I don't care. You're my taichou; and every day I can't help but think I'm so glad, so very glad and honored that I have Hitsugaya-taichou as my taichou.

"You've accomplished so many things, Toushirou, you're an inspiration and pride to all of us. Don't say that anymore. You're not a failure. From time to time, things get difficult but that's okay because I'll be there to help you- always-, so you don't have to carry all this pain."

He turned around and hugged her, hugged her so tightly she felt her breath leave her.

"You'll grown into an adult in no time, but until then don't throw away your childhood so easily. Cherish it, makes friends, have fun so when the times comes you can die peacefully with no regrets and you know that every single thing was just a stepping stone to the story of your life."

Rangiku continued stroking his hair until he fell asleep, cradled in her arms.

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He awoke at two in the morning violently sick and raced to the nearest toilet to throw up. Rangiku smiled, cheerily recalling that hangovers were never fun. Taichou glared at her, too sick to say anything back. "My head hurts," he moaned holding his head. "I am never drinking ever again." He finally croaked out.

"Oh taichou don't say that! We had lots of fun drinking last night!" They left the office about three hours ago- she had to carry him because he really did sleep like a log- and arrived at her place. She tucked him in and he slept soundly until he awoke just now.

He glanced at her, about to retort before his face paled again, and he moved his head over the toilet. When the puking finally came to an end, she eased him out of his black robes- his haori had been left in the office- and redressed him in a plain yukata. The sleeves were slightly long, reaching his waist, but really these were her only robes that didn't seem overly feminime enough- and as much as she loved pulling pranks on her taichou, she decided that today he would be off the hook.

He didn't mind, but continued to blink back sleepily, yawning as she dumped his vomit and alcohol scent robes in a basket of dirty laundary. In the morning he would fuss about wearing her clothes, but the scent of vomit was really too much for her to handle.

"C'mon," Rangiku nudge after washing his face- he protest rather loudly about the cold water, but continued to follow. "The best way to get rid of a hangover is to sleep it off."

"I don't know how you can go through these," he answered exhaustively, now in fresh clothes and sunk into her futon.

"Taichou it's not that bad!" She sat on the edge of the futon, nudging him to scoot over before draping the covers over them. "There's a bucket on the floor and a water pitcher on the table." He mumbled a weak thanks and slid deeper into the covers. The light was turned off and the room was filled with darkness.

"Thank you- thank you for what you said back there. I'm so glad to have you as a fukutaichou."

She smiled in the darkness. "Hey taichou?"

"Hn," he said half-sleepily.

"Can we go to the zoo tomorrow?"

"Sure Ran-ran."

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